eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
