he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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