All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
They have beer where we have blood.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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