Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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