there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
