i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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