I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
