For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
