peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I need a hoe opinion
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