Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
