hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
