i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
