We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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