You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
