aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
