does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
