You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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