You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
