David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
