Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
