that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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