i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
