Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
