Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
