I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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