thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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