it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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