well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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