I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
