Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
