What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
