It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
