Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
