so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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