It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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