she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
