I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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