5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
