Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
