you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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