You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
