So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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