um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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