Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
