I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i believe in u and ur pee
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
