I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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