do herpes really smell.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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