having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
