I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
