So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
