you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
