she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
