I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
