i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
