No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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