Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
