my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
