Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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