Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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